Direct or hands-on care provides many physical and emotional challenges.
It can bring great joy and compassion, with the caregiver giving back to their loved one. It can also bring frustration and feeling overwhelmed both physically and emotionally by the care needs of the loved one.
The Challenge - The person providing the direct care feels they need to do it all and may wait too long to ask for help or to take care of themselves.
Often the person providing the direct care is too close to the situation and looses objectivity. Their life becomes caregiving and their world becomes small. They are then at risk for stress and stress related illnesses. Often they need someone to help them see the reality of the situation.
The Solution - Acknowledge the dedication of the direct caregiver, observe for signs of caregiver overload and honestly share your observations with the direct caregiver.
1. It is important to try to understand the motivation of the direct caregiver and the emotions that are tied to caregiving.
2. Generational values and ideas are powerful. Independence is highly valued.
• Don’t ask for help
• Don’t admit there is anything wrong
• Don’t know how to ask
• Don’t want to burden the rest of the family
3. Values, promises and emotions drive the direct caregiver. Some of those include:
• Positive feelings are gained from caregiving
• I can give back to the ones that I love
• This is my duty as a husband, wife, child, family member
• No one can provide the care like I do
• Guilt – I should be able to do this by myself
• Promises made to the aging loved one – I will never put you in a nursing home.
• The aging loved one puts pressure on the direct caregiver not to tell
4. Caregiving can start in two ways.
• At first the direct caregiver begins helping with a few tasks. As the care needs progress, more tasks are added. When this happens slowly, the caregiver is often not aware that they are doing so much.
• The second way is when a health crisis occurs and the direct caregiver is thrust into the caregiving role, which can be overwhelming.
5. Observe the caregiver for signs of caregiver stress and overload
• Physical – headaches, high blood pressure, digestive problems
• Emotional – anger, frustration, crying, fear, impatience
• Behavioral – appetite changes, sleep changes, depression
6. The person providing the direct care needs to know that the greatest health risk may be to themselves!
• Share your observations with the direct caregiver. If high levels of stress continue, the caregiver’s physical and emotional ability to provide adequate care will be compromised.
• Work with the caregiver to identify ways to manage the stress and take care of themselves.
Asking for help is difficult to do, but getting help may save the caregiver’s life. If you or one of your family members is in the role of direct caregiver, step back and try to observe the situation with new eyes. Look for the signs of caregiver stress. Admit them to yourself or share your observations with another family member or friend. Identify one way to reduce or manage each stresser and set a date to implement each stress reducing technique. Caring for the caregiver is of utmost importance.
Carol McGowan RN and Cindy Streekstra RN are Caregiver Coaches and geriatric nurses who share a mission of caring for caregivers as part of a family unit. Their passion for caregivers has led them to create “The Caregiver Cottage”, a virtual place of support where they guide family caregivers through the caregiving experience.
Click here for more information on planning for elder care http://www.guidingfamilycaregiving.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carol_McGowan
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