Second guessing your decision to help a family member in their time of need? Being proactive in planning for your relatives extended stay with help you weather the storm.
Surviving Your Extended Family
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Stephanie_Graham]Stephanie Graham
We all want to do the noble thing and help a friend or family member in their time of need. Natural disasters, illness, job loss, death, and a host of other unplanned circumstances sometimes makes it necessary for us to open our home to others. Despite your best efforts, your extended family situation can become extremely difficult to live with. Whether you are the host or the person in need of assistance, it is important to establish a few ground rules to keep the environment functioning harmoniously. If you don’t establish a few things upfront, emotions could flare up and result in arguments and sometimes even physical violence. Here are some helpful suggestions that will allow you to preserve your relationship with your loved ones:
DO: Meet with family members to discuss expectations (yours and theirs) during the extended stay. Familiarize your new guest with how things currently work in your household. Be sure to cover items that you are a stickler about (i.e., no shoes on in the house, no eating outside of the kitchen or nook area, smoking, computer usage, etc.).DON’T: Don’t assume that your family members have been observant enough to know what you want done in your home or how to do it. If your family member didn’t have a dishwasher or high tech appliances in their home, they may be apprehensive about using yours. The same goes for high tech electronics and other gadgets. Show your relative how to use your gadgets without altering your favorite settings. Another important point is usage of your personal computer. Let them know if your office pc is off limits. Additionally, let them know what to do to avoid downloading viruses and spyware onto your PC.
DO: Whenever possible, carve out a space or room where your extended family members can store personal items or have some privacy. They may still need to iron out some very personal matters in private. If a full bedroom is unavailable, provide a kitchen cabinet or drawer to help them to stay organized and keep their clutter out of your site. If this is not a good option, consider a room divider or curtains. DON’T: Don’t move your guests to a different place in your home every week. Think ahead about the most convenient place to make their temporary residence. If you know that the individual is a junky monkey, then don’t put them up near the entrance of your home or in areas frequented by your friends and business associates. It will cause a lot of unnecessary frustration for you and your relative.
DO: Do consider your guests’ dietary requirements. There are many people who are vegetarians or who exclude pork and beef from their diets. If your guests’ culinary preferences are too extreme, direct them to a place where they can purchase food or dine the way they normally do without inconveniencing you. You can also invite them to prepare their favorite dish as a way to make them more comfortable and to allow your family to experience a new cuisine. DON’T: Don’t expect your guests to eat salty, sugary, or high-fat foods, if they have indicated they’ve given them up for health reasons. Simply invite them to participate in the meal preparation or sit a portion of the meal aside prior to adding the salt or sugar that suits your taste.
DO: Solicit your guests’ participation in chores, errands, childcare, and bill paying regardless of how brief you intend for their stay to be. You’ll only handicap them by being too accommodating. If your guest has a cash flow problem and is unable to pay rent or a bill, they can still assist with chores, errands, or childcare. If they have a small amount of income, give them the responsibility of replenishing grocery items that are consumed quickly like milk, juice, fruit, bread, and cereal. DON’T: Don’t allow anyone to stay in your home without getting them to acknowledge the importance of making a contribution. They need to commit to doing something consistently to sustain the household. The well being of your household is of extreme importance to you and should be to them. Guests sometimes assume that because they spend the majority of their time in their designated room or area, that there is no need to contribute or be concerned with the maintenance of the rest of the house.
DO: Create a sign-up schedule for shared resources to avoid arguments. People tend to want to cook or wash at the same time someone else planned to do so. Disagreements about laundry, transportation, exercise equipment, computers, TVs and other media can become a huge problem very quickly. DON’T: Don’t allow your guest’s last minute activities to disrupt the entire household. Make your family planning calendar accessible so that your guest can advise everyone of his or her schedule far enough in advance. Transportation and other major issues should be discussed and resolved in advance.
DO: Insist that your guest continues to be the primary caregiver for their offspring. If your guest has a child, take steps to childproof your home immediately. Put away razors, matches, chemicals, and other harmful objects. Also, discuss sensitive issues like excessive noise, running through the house, bedwetting, and items that are off limits before problems arise.DON’T: Allow your guest to be careless with things that you cherish. Be sure to protect your valuables if you are accommodating guests with children. Make it clear that your guest should monitor their children at all times. If items are broken or damaged, advise your guest of how the incident should be handled (i.e., replace the item, clean the carpet, etc.).
DO: Do consider your guest’s likes, dislikes, (and their habits) before inviting them to stay at your home. You may get along just fine with your guest but what about their friends, family, and significant others? Does your guest expect to entertain and accommodate others at your expense? It shouldn’t happen but it can if you don’t address the issue up front. Is your guest a night owl? You should know these things in advance. Don’t: Allow guests to disrespect your home. Communicate your feelings about late night visitors, smoking, drinking, parties, loud noise, etc. What you consider to be "out of bounds" may just be the norm with your visitor
DO: Offer to provide your guest with the resources they need to get up to speed. Help with an online job search or a resume. Put them in contact with a business associate who may know of an opportunity. Be inspirational and uplifting DON’T: Buy into excuses that will result in you accommodating your relative much longer than the time you both originally agreed to. Don’t participate in the family gossip sessions that only serve to anger and alienate. Don’t discuss your guest’s personal problems with others without their permission. It could cause unnecessary family rifts. Treat them as you would want to be treated if the situation was reversed. Now that you’re in sync with the Do’s and Don’ts of living with extended family, think about what a blessing it is to have friends and family to share your home with in the first place! Stay optimistic about the situation and things are sure to work out. Invest a little time to help them get back on track with a [http://www.completemortgageprocessing.com ]career. Be encouraging and uplifting so that they will regain their self-confidence and independence. Life is short so make it sweet. Give what you can from the heart and your blessings will be returned tenfold.
Stephanie is an accomplished author, speaker, trainer, and business consultant for the mortgage industry. Stephanie facilitates live mortgage training and teleseminar events for mortgage brokers and loan processors across the United States. For more information about Stephanie, visit the company website at http://www.completemortgageprocessing.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Stephanie_Graham http://EzineArticles.com/?Surviving-Your-Extended-Family&id=453869
สมัครสมาชิก:
ส่งความคิดเห็น (Atom)
ไม่มีความคิดเห็น:
แสดงความคิดเห็น